D-7
Ups & Downs— 08.16.24
life is full of undefined situations,
it makes you feel like you're on a roller coaster.
Highlight of the day:
It was a very difficult day today. I felt so many emotions today that I don't understand things again.
I just feel like I don't do my job properly as a leader. I don't know what to do or what to feel anymore. The burnout feeling that I feel now is worse than before.
I just let things pass since today was supposed to be a day of fun. But then my friend, Alliyah, came by to bid farewell as she leaves. Slowly, I feel that everyone in my life is starting to leave me. I'm scared that anytime, I'd be alone again. I don't want to be in that situation ever again. Things can't be avoided. I'll miss you, Alliyah! I'm proud of you for having the courage to open up. I wish you the best always. I'm always here for you.
Again, I tried to forget all my problems but I got blamed for being unprepared even though it wasn't my org's job to prepare that certain objecting. That was my breaking point. I wanted to cry so bad but I felt embarrassed that if they saw me crying, they'd think that I'm weak to not handle or take things like that in a good way. I sat down under a tree and hid myself while trying to cry silently. The stress and pressure I've been carrying ever since got me. I couldn't cry. Andrew came to me and asked if I was okay. Of course I'd say I am for him not to worry but he knew well to know that I wasn't. We sat at the waiting area and I broke down. Tears kept falling non-stop. I told him what happened when I calmed down. He convinced me to raise this concern but I refused. Eventually, I agreed to talk to the people involved once I'm ready. I'm thankful for him for helping me. (+ My dream of taking a picture with him at a photobooth came true!)
The time for the yell has arrived. Our section had fun performing the yell. It doesn't matter if we don't win. We had so much fun. I'm proud of my classmates
Ao cote 🥺
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